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In the cross-hairs: female baldness

 


In the cross-hairs: female baldness

Hmm. Mr. Clean doesn’t seem to have a complex over it. Nor did Yul Brynner. And some male actors and athletes actually choose it! Former President Trump was accused of a “cover up” in this area long before the Mueller investigation,

I don’t get it. That’s certainly not MY experience with thinning hair, impending baldness! How do men take it so well? Sure, they are mocked for their no-locks look ( baldy , chrome dome, cue-ball), but what’s not to like about Dwayne Johnson, Vin Deisel, Shemar Moore, Patrick Stewart, or Howie Mandel? Ok, Elmer Fudd doesn’t make the cut, but, hey, the other guys look incredible. I look in the mirror at my thinning hair and cringe. I do not want to look like a hairless cat! I really don’t, and, no, I do NOT think hairless cats are cute.

Let’s face it, thinning hair is scary for we women. I lose enough strands per day to make Dolly Parton a wig. A really BIG wig! Bigger than the wigs she wears. If I had a cat, I wouldn’t have to buy it toys. It would love batting around the numerous hairballs throughout my apartment. My vacuum cleaner roller looks like a rope is wound around it after vacuuming just one room, that’s how many strands it sucks up. The only hair that doesn’t seem to fall out is the one that occasionally sprouts on my chin--the very one I WISH would fall out!

My doctor says hair loss comes with age, like all the other wonderful losses: vision loss, hearing loss, bladder-control loss--every kind of loss except weight loss. It isn’t fair. Hair is a woman’s crown, her glory. It is extremely important to us. You don’t hear us complaining about a Bad Eye Day, or a Bad Ear Day, or even a Bad Bladder Day, but mess with our hair, and we sink into a deep depression or become totally rabid,

enough to make everyone’s hair stand on end . . . except our own because it is too limp.

It’s a fact that few women make it past 65 with a full head of hair, unless they are related to Rapunzel. Maybe it’s because I teased my hair (just a little) when I was younger that it is now torturing me back. I brush it and a gash appears at the back of my head that looks like a hatchet was once embedded in my scalp. Try as I may, I cannot camouflage this gap. A friend insists it is just a cowlick, but I don’t let cows lick my hair, and never will.

Trust me, I am not splitting hairs over this issue, but, rather, telling the bald truth. For we women, thin is not in when it comes to our hair. We want Farrah Fawcett hair. Diana Ross hair. I say let’s leave bald heads to the mannequins!

Jean Mlincek is a freelance writer who resides in St. Petersburg, Fla.

 

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