Plant-based food is a real beef for meat eaters
February 1, 2021 | View PDF
Sorry, but I have a beef with the plant-based food movement. I think this movement is an age-old conspiracy to shove veggies down our throats. I don't want to eat plant burgers. I want M-E-A-T!! Just like you can't fake steak; you can't fake veggies. They are nasty, no matter how you try to disguise them. There's a reason why infants spit out mashed peas. I don't think they would do that with a meatball.
Let's face it. Broccoli is broccoli is broccoli. Yuck! We have an entire generation deceived into thinking that Brussels sprouts make a tasty smoothie, or that cauliflower is the real "new potato", or that zucchini tastes just like pasta. Mama Mia! What is wrong with people
Don't forget it was eating FRUIT that got Adam and Eve into trouble. So much for a plant-based diet! When the prodigal son returned home, his father killed the fatted calf; he didn't go out in the field and pick dandelions! God led the Israelites into a land "flowing with milk and honey", not soy beans and turnips.
I think there is a message in all this. Besides, the majority of dinosaurs were plant eaters and look at what happened to THEM!
Someone on the INTERNET asked if you can lose weight on a plant-based diet. I can lose weight just thinking about a plant-based diet! The joy of eating would be gone. Give me bacon and eggs for breakfast, not a pile of chia seeds.
I can survive on Lean Cuisine for lunch; "green cuisine", not so much. Let me tell you, folks; if it looks like cow plop, it tastes like cow plop.
A few years ago, I fell for the kale craze. Who was I, devout meat-eater that I am, to not try something touted as the "nutrition superstar." Talk about bitter! I rather eat coffee grounds. Let me tell you something else about kale. It is a cruciferous vegetable. The word "cruciferous" doesn't bode well, if you ask me. That should have been my first warning not to indulge. Then, I come to learn that kale contains a high amount of goitrogens. Again, a scary-sounding "ingredient" that should warn every red-blooded label reader to "Beware!"
If an infant intuitively rejects vegetables, you know there is something wrong with them. My Mom was always trying to get me to eat vegetables when I was a kid. I don't care how strong spinach made Popeye, I wasn't buying it . . . or eating it. I hated green beans, lima beans, pinto beans, Navy beans, and--gag!--kidney beans. If a bean wasn't a jelly bean, forget it!
Do you know how hard it is for a kid to swallow a tree? That was my experience with broccoli. It simply wasn't edible, yet Mom put a forest on my plate. I didn't know which part was more difficult to chew, the grainy tree top or the green timber "trunk." Even today, I think it would be easier to chew on a piece of lumber--and more tasty.
My poor sister has a grown daughter who is part of this plant-based coup. It is playing havoc with holiday get-togethers. Daughter doesn't do meat. What?! Who plops down a plant on the Thanksgiving dinner plate? I'll have turkey, thank you. In fact, who wants to eat a damn plant in lieu of ANY meat selection? To her credit, my sister refuses to turn over a new leaf (kale, collards, arugula , etc.) when it comes to holiday tradition. You eat ham on Christmas; not the holly and the ivy!
Why can't vegans, vegetarians, and meat-haters just leave us carnivores alone? Truth is, we didn't fall for the soy burgers of long ago; we are not going to fall for the meatless burgers of today, even if they "bleed." Imitation meat is imitation meat, no matter how you cut it.
Jean Mlincek is a freelance writer who resides in St. Petersburg, FL.